Dear Diary,
It's hard to admit but I laced Penelope's food with rat poison and locked her in Mom and Dad's room. I'm not sure if the RatSak killed her and Joe had to kill her again, or she was still alive when he did what had to be done. Joe is Trolly-Blanket boy from the street the other day! I'll get to him in a minute.
I'm worried about Casey, I don't think she's sick, but she's really hungry which is understandable considering I haven't had time to cook anything. She's had to get by on a bag of bread and packet of sliced cheese I tossed on the couch. She hasn't complained once, only asked if she could get herself some milk. I brought her the carton and some cookies and told her everything was going to be okay, and it sort of is, now. She didn't ask anything about Penelope or Thomas.
I had to keep Thomas in the bathroom. Lifting him in and out of the bath every five minutes or so to try and get his temperature down. It only made him hotter! After the first soak his body broke into a rash spreading from under his armpits out. I had to tie his hands together with the curling iron cord to stop him scratching. He also had blood in his mouth and sores covering the roof and walls. When I got a torch, and him to say ahh! His tongue was black down the back of his throat. He couldn't focus, his pupils best described as two fullstops in bloodshot orbs. Of his torments, light hurt him the most I think. I had to keep it off unless he was convulsing, then I tossed a flannel over his eyes and prayed. The last time I took him out of the bath he went limp, I thought it was the start of another convulsion but this time his heart had stopped. I screamed for help. It was instinctive, of course Casey ran in and started screaming too.
Between screaming “Everything will be all right!” I rolled Thomas into the recovery position, then back, started chest compressions and was about to give mouth to mouth when someone shouted STOP. Enter Joe. Joe pushed me off Thomas, scooped him up and ran with him to the kitchen.
“Freezer, where's your freezer?” he repeated over and over until I pointed to the other side of the room. Then he screamed “Open it! Open it!”. I did, tried to at least, my arms were jelly with shock, Casey helped me.
“Empty it! Empty it!” Joe repeated now.
I wasn't thinking, what the hell? Why are you listening to him and not saving your dying brother! I was tossing baskets of frozen meat and pizzas out on the floor as quick as I could because Joe seemed to know what to do. One thought, Thomas is dead, Thomas is dead, reduced me to a zombie state. I came out of it quick when Joe stuffed Thomas in the freezer, slammed the lid, and sat on it.
Now I screamed at him and beat him. He grabbed my arms locked them behind my back, Casey bit his arm, his thigh, then jumped up and down wrenching on his hair whenever height allowed. But Joe didn't react beyond holding me and repeating: “He'll be OK,” over and over, until I believed him. Joe doesn't look older then 17 but in that moment all I saw was blond Jesus. Gods know I wanted to believe in Joe in that moment, needed to believe that I hadn't just let a stranger kill my dying baby brother.
It was a horrific 5 minutes before Joe hopped off the freezer, opened it, and lifted Thomas out. He lay him on the couch, listened to his heart, then asked for a blanket. By the time I grabbed it from Dad's chair. Thomas was breathing again. His rash, faded. I think I squeezed most of those first breaths right back out of him.
With relief, came questions. Like, “What the hell are you doing in my house!” Joe told me he had seen me the other day down on the street, but that it was by chance he arrived when he did. He needed baby formula for his newborn daughter, April. April was on the roof in a car carrier apparently, Joe went and got her. As he came down the stairs he asked me what the noise was in the upstairs bedroom. I explained about the cat. He said he would see to her, that she had to be put down a certain way to stay down because of the virus. All cats are carriers of the virus. He explained that April's mother had contracted the virus and died a few days ago, when everything started. April had been sick like Thomas, Stillborn actually, but Joe knew about the freezer treatment from his own Dad – a scientist who worked with vaccines. I wouldn't have believed him if I hadn't witnessed it with Thomas. Joe explained that kids under a certain age (8-10) who died of the virus came back alive, carriers of the disease, but normal apart from that. He said that those over 10 who contracted the virus, died and came back carriers, but abnormal. Of course I asked him what abnormal meant. Joe told me about his Girlfriend, that she had come back to life after a few hours crazy and almost killed him.
The virus is transmitted via body fluids, that's why Joe stopped me giving mouth to mouth and he has to wear gloves when looking after the baby. He warned me not to touch her spit up. I asked him if I looked like the kind of girl that did that? He grinned and I smiled back. It was the first in a long time for me.
Joe's from the next town over, and since he's been on the street, he's witnessed a lot of reanimated adults and hundreds of kids trying to survive on their own. Joe asked me if he and April could stay with us, I explained we only had powered milk not formula, he said it was better than nothing or being killed looking for better. He doesn't know if FEMA has a working vaccine or not but he's going to try and get in contact with his Dad again. He asked Casey's age, I told him she was seven, he said. “She's tall!” Then he took me aside and told me it was a good thing because she was sick too.
Oh! One other nightmare, both April and Thomas eyes are completely black. This is one update I won't be re-reading any time soon! At least Joe says that Thomas won't die again now, and he really does seem okay, he even laughed at Olaf. I never thought I would be so happy to hear another chorus of “Let It Go.”
Update Soon.
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