Entry One

Dear Diary,

It's been a long time I know, don't judge! The iphone is dead and quite possibly everyone else I cared about. I got Casey and Thomas to sleep, for the first time without crying (them not me). Which I know Mom won't believe. If I had my iphone I could post a pic of proof (but as you know already, I don't). Anyway I promise this won't always be about my iphone, or how much I miss cheese burgers or Gossip Girl – Blair and Chunk (Chuck), I know if anyone can survive what's going on right now you two can! I really have a lot to tell you, but the gas is running out and I don't want to change the canister just to update myself about what myself is going through. I will write again tomorrow, or hopefully the power will be back on, mom and dad home from their date and I won't have to! The weird noise is starting up again so i'm going to switch off the light.

Update soon.

Entry Two

Dear Diary,

Luckily, today was not the end of me. I couldn't sleep last night, funnily enough, because I was thinking about you. As you know I've tried to keep a diary before – but last night I realised what the point was. A diary isn't about me talking about myself to myself. A diary is me talking to a friend about myself. I need a friend right now, to try and work out what to do with the kids, and what’s going on. Mom and dad are still MIA and from breakfast to noon this was my day – Thomas: Jenny where’s Mom and Dad – Casey: Jenny, Where's Mom and Dad – Thomas: Jenny, I'm Hungry – Casey: Jenny, charge the Ipad – Thomas: Jenny, can we go to park? – Casey: Jenny, can I watch Frozen etc. Frozen I was able to provide (this caused a full on Thomas spazattack while I hooked the TV to the generator) which ended with Olaf. Both kids are now singing Let It Go loud enough to drown out that noise I told you about yesterday. Dad locked us in when he left on his date (“A weekend of reconnecting,” Mom called it) but climbing up to the roof garden, the origin of the sound appears to be the Highschool. Maybe the PA system cranked up?
      Yeah, Mom and Dad locked us in. Told me not to leave the house no matter what until they got back. Which is why I haven't gone to the police yet. Or even to the mailbox. Sounds extreme? That's my family. Was me too once. Swiss Army Knife for my 4^th birthday, scope for my 10^th. Hunting, Fishing, Tracking, I'm a regular Cruesoe on the inside. Not so much since highschool I will admit, Track and Field yeah, but now it's more for the boys then against them, and I wouldn't be caught dead in khaki anymore. I think my pleated skirts make dad sadder then the destruction of the Amazon and peak oil combined.
      Oh yeah, which is why I said that everyone's dead, as in my social life. Even with the solar charger on my phone I can't access the 'Net. Landline's out too, and the power for two days now. I imagine a blizzard (hence the siren) knocked out the grid. It's pretty common where we live, but no power for two day, not so much. The kids are worried, Casey is a born conspirator so I think she is actually happy that way -- imagining that mom and dad have been kidnapped by aliens and ISIS behind the power outage. But its hard on Thomas. And me! If they aren't back my tomorrow morning I’m going to have to break out of this fortress and tell someone. And hopefully bring back something to eat that doesn't have carbs. Mom stocked the freezer and dad has ten years of baked beans (that he forced me to stack) so starvation is unlikely, but so is fitting into my uniform if I eat spagbol one more time. I can't believe mom out right refused to freeze any of my diet foods. It's like she doesn't understand that I have to be thin for the start of school next week! Dad might fear the end of the world, but he has no idea what real fear is. Like gaining a muffintop while stuck babysitting your kid brother and sister when you threw out all your regular pants for skinny jeans!

Anyway, Frozen has finished.

Update Soon.

Entry Three

Dear Diary,

Guess what? Today was not the end of me either. Instead, Ear thingys stuffed in my ears and a flat Ipod, I awoke to Thomas smacking my mouth and pointing upstairs. Minion! Was the only word I could make out around his thumb. I ran upstairs and stuck my eye into the spyhole. Thomas was right. An oversized minion from “Despicable Me” did indeed stand there – otherwise known as a FEMA employee in an “Orange is the New Black” HAZMAT suit – His knocking frantic now that he realised someone was home. I shouted that I couldn't unlock the door – he insisted I unlock the door – I insisted I couldn't – he insisted I UNLOCK THE DOOR– the entire situation punctuated by Thomas and Casey having an Astronaut versus Minion debate. This went on for five minutes before another FEMA Employee/Minion/Astronaut arrived and hauled the first out of sight – counting body bags no doubt! (Got a conspiracy joke in for you dad!). Anyway, Minion/Astronaut/Employee No.2, reappears at the door and slips a note under it – in one deft motion impregnating dad's impenetrable fortress. Below is a (much neater, less hasty) copy of the letter:

Jenny, other kids.

You don't know me, but I know your father.

He wouldn't want you to go to the FEMA Camp.

Sit tight, don't go outside. Don't let anyone in.

I'll try and come back for you.

STAY INSIDE.

No Cats.

Knowing your dad, I know you have more supplies

Than FEMA at your disposal.

This thing could still blow over. Your father keeps a

Police Scanner behind the Beer fridge.

I suggest you charge it.

I had already found the Scanner, but so far have heard only static. Your guess is as good as mine

when it comes to the cat thing – even writing it makes me shrug. This thing could still blow over couldn't be more cryptic -- full HAZMAT? You know, I'm wondering if this isn't some game my dad's cooked up to test my survival skills. I would be annoyed at my dad, but if it is a real TEOTWAWKI event, and he isn't here to help then I'm going to be a lot more then annoyed. I rely on him, and now, when I need him, he's MIA. It does something weird to your brain, when you realise you rely on someone more than yourself. It breeds doubt.  Especially when I see by Thomas and Casey faces that they are starting to feel that exact same way about me.

Anyway, I promised the kids a bubble bath with the last of the hot water. Beyond that, I guess FEMA

are + 3 Body Bags (oops I did it again). The Stevens are staying put for now.

Update Soon.

Entry Four

Dear Diary,

          I spent most of today on the roof making a ladder from four coils of Samson rope and my superior Scoutmaster skills, while watching the neighbourhood ship out via Schoolbus. A FEMA Agent stood outside of the front gate during this and waved off other clipboard holding FEMA agents. Our friend from this morning I presume? He didn't leave us any messages. I kept my head down and didn't let Thomas play in his sandpit – if it wasn't TEOTWAWKI outside, it was inside for the rest of the day after that. Thomas decapitated three of Casey's barbies and let the cat escape. I still haven't decided what to do about Penelope. Anyone who's ever owned a cat knows that doors must be opened to our feline overlords upon demand. The warning about Cats and the “situation” requiring full HAZMAT points to some sort of infectious disease. Unless the guy had a phobia, huh! Maybe that would explain the HAZMAT suit!
          Anyway I don't want to talk about Penelope. It was around 5pm when the last bus left and I was about to head down to separate the kids again when a boy ran down the main road pushing a shopping cart full of blankets and soda. He left the cart every so often and kicked open several of the neighbourhood doors, dashed in – and back out. I always keep a rifle on the roof for Skeet practice, through the scope I could tell he wasn't robbing the places. He came back each time empty handed. Then he was at our front gate. He went to kick the lock when Penelope jumped up on the gatepost. The boy literally threw himself back, grabbed a pile of blankets out of his trolley and ran, checking back for Penelope every few seconds, he tripped on the curb, frantically unravelled his blanket, checked his “stash” and kept running until I lost sight of him after Winslow and East.
        Penelope never once looked up from grooming herself. I followed her with the scope when she jumped down, ran up the porch steps and disappeared from view. I didn't need to see her any more though, her meow grew louder by the instant. She was a hero, I couldn't lock her out! Checking to make sure no one was around, I called down to her. She arrived with a purr of indignation and stalked into the house, tail regally high. By the time I got down the two flights of stairs to the kitchen, Thomas patted her fur while she ate her tunafish biscuits. I refuse to worry about this, it's just a cat! More then that, it's Penelope, besides she was only out of the house less then an hour, Okay, maybe two, but not longer then that. She doesn't hardly leave our garden anyway! If there was some crazy cat disease, then the cat would have to catch it right? From being in a fight or something or doing other stuff cats do. I checked her over fully for any signs of injury or sickness. Her nose was cold, if that counts and she ate all her food. I don't understand why everyone's acting so weird about cats today!

Update Soon.

Entry Five

Dear Diary,

Thomas is sick.

Update Soon.

Entry Six

Dear Diary,

          Thomas is finally asleep. I gave him paracetamol and ibuprofen but neither touch his fever. I'm beside myself. I even climbed down to the road today to check for FEMA buses. But there is no one out there. Even the siren has stopped. I don't know what to do, my hands are literally shaking right now. But I had to get these thoughts out of my head. Put them somewhere else! Casey is fine, she's worried about Thomas but her Barbie library keeps her away from him and out of my hair. I stink too, I haven't showered in two days, I know its trivial in the current light, but I want to feel human again. I want my old life back! School would have started today. Instead I am an inadequate nurse to a 3year old who looks half dead. He's awake again! Please God, if you can hear me, help me!

Update Soon.

Entry Seven

Dear Diary,

     It's hard to admit but I laced Penelope's food with rat poison and locked her in Mom and Dad's room. I'm not sure if the RatSak killed her and Joe had to kill her again, or she was still alive when he did what had to be done. Joe is Trolly-Blanket boy from the street the other day! I'll get to him in a minute.
     I'm worried about Casey, I don't think she's sick, but she's really hungry which is understandable considering I haven't had time to cook anything. She's had to get by on a bag of bread and packet of sliced cheese I tossed on the couch. She hasn't complained once, only asked if she could get herself some milk. I brought her the carton and some cookies and told her everything was going to be okay, and it sort of is, now. She didn't ask anything about Penelope or Thomas.
    I had to keep Thomas in the bathroom. Lifting him in and out of the bath every five minutes or so to try and get his temperature down. It only made him hotter! After the first soak his body broke into a rash spreading from under his armpits out. I had to tie his hands together with the curling iron cord to stop him scratching. He also had blood in his mouth and sores covering the roof and walls. When I got a torch, and him to say ahh! His tongue was black down the back of his throat. He couldn't focus, his pupils best described as two fullstops in bloodshot orbs. Of his torments, light hurt him the most I think. I had to keep it off unless he was convulsing, then I tossed a flannel over his eyes and prayed. The last time I took him out of the bath he went limp, I thought it was the start of another convulsion but this time his heart had stopped. I screamed for help. It was instinctive, of course Casey ran in and started screaming too.
    Between screaming “Everything will be all right!” I rolled Thomas into the recovery position, then back, started chest compressions and was about to give mouth to mouth when someone shouted STOP. Enter Joe. Joe pushed me off Thomas, scooped him up and ran with him to the kitchen.
   “Freezer, where's your freezer?” he repeated over and over until I pointed to the other side of the room. Then he screamed “Open it! Open it!”. I did, tried to at least, my arms were jelly with shock, Casey helped me.
   “Empty it! Empty it!” Joe repeated now.
    I wasn't thinking, what the hell? Why are you listening to him and not saving your dying brother! I was tossing baskets of frozen meat and pizzas out on the floor as quick as I could because Joe seemed to know what to do. One thought, Thomas is dead, Thomas is dead, reduced me to a zombie state. I came out of it quick when Joe stuffed Thomas in the freezer, slammed the lid, and sat on it.
    Now I screamed at him and beat him. He grabbed my arms locked them behind my back, Casey bit his arm, his thigh, then jumped up and down wrenching on his hair whenever height allowed. But Joe didn't react beyond holding me and repeating: “He'll be OK,” over and over, until I believed him. Joe doesn't look older then 17 but in that moment all I saw was blond Jesus. Gods know I wanted to believe in Joe in that moment, needed to believe that I hadn't just let a stranger kill my dying baby brother.
    It was a horrific 5 minutes before Joe hopped off the freezer, opened it, and lifted Thomas out. He lay him on the couch, listened to his heart, then asked for a blanket. By the time I grabbed it from Dad's chair. Thomas was breathing again. His rash, faded. I think I squeezed most of those first breaths right back out of him.
   With relief, came questions. Like, “What the hell are you doing in my house!” Joe told me he had seen me the other day down on the street, but that it was by chance he arrived when he did. He needed baby formula for his newborn daughter, April. April was on the roof in a car carrier apparently, Joe went and got her. As he came down the stairs he asked me what the noise was in the upstairs bedroom. I explained about the cat. He said he would see to her, that she had to be put down a certain way to stay down because of the virus. All cats are carriers of the virus. He explained that April's mother had contracted the virus and died a few days ago, when everything started. April had been sick like Thomas, Stillborn actually, but Joe knew about the freezer treatment from his own Dad – a scientist who worked with vaccines. I wouldn't have believed him if I hadn't witnessed it with Thomas. Joe explained that kids under a certain age (8-10) who died of the virus came back alive, carriers of the disease, but normal apart from that. He said that those over 10 who contracted the virus, died and came back carriers, but abnormal. Of course I asked him what abnormal meant. Joe told me about his Girlfriend, that she had come back to life after a few hours crazy and almost killed him.
   The virus is transmitted via body fluids, that's why Joe stopped me giving mouth to mouth and he has to wear gloves when looking after the baby. He warned me not to touch her spit up. I asked him if I looked like the kind of girl that did that? He grinned and I smiled back. It was the first in a long time for me.
   Joe's from the next town over, and since he's been on the street, he's witnessed a lot of reanimated adults and hundreds of kids trying to survive on their own. Joe asked me if he and April could stay with us, I explained we only had powered milk not formula, he said it was better than nothing or being killed looking for better. He doesn't know if FEMA has a working vaccine or not but he's going to try and get in contact with his Dad again. He asked Casey's age, I told him she was seven, he said. “She's tall!” Then he took me aside and told me it was a good thing because she was sick too.
   Oh! One other nightmare, both April and Thomas eyes are completely black. This is one update I won't be re-reading any time soon! At least Joe says that Thomas won't die again now, and he really does seem okay, he even laughed at Olaf. I never thought I would be so happy to hear another chorus of “Let It Go.”

Update Soon.